35th birthday - I could be at my prime!

So I finally reached the milestone of turning 35 years old. Some say that 70 is a lifetime which would make reaching 35 the first step toward the last half of your life, or as somebody so elegantly put it- “closer to wearing diapers rather than further from having worn them”.

What a miserable thought! So much so that I imagined my hairline instantly moving up just that little bit further whilst my sideburns were turning slightly grey!

Have no fear, being a ‘glass half-full’ kinda’ person I decided to find something positive about turning 35, and it instantly hit me:
If 70 is a lifetime and 35 subsequently being right smack in the middle of your life, then I’m neither too old nor too young- I’m simply in my prime! You could say ‘just right’! And, that my friends, is the story I’m sticking with!!!

So thanks to all of you who so kindly pointed out that it’s “all downhill from here” and that I am now "old enough to play in the Masters’ tournament".

Toaster Terrorist

The other morning while getting dressed for work I hear my eldest daughter yell from the kitchen:
“Dad, can you put plastic in the toaster?”
In my normal fatherly fashion I answered – “of course not, dummy!”

I just assumed that she and he brother were having one of their usual arguments about the world and what works or not, etc, so I didn’t think any more of it.

Three minutes later as I enter the kitchen, which had a burnt smell to it, I discovered tongs, a knife, a wooden spoon, small pieces of cheese and a bunch of napkins right next to the toaster.
Intrigued I looked inside the toaster and discovered that it was completely covered with melted cheese.

My daughter, in her infinite yet practical wisdom, decided that the quickest way to get melted cheese for her sandwich must be to put pre-sliced cheese directly into the toaster (I admit, it worked!)- at least she had removed the plastic.

Needless to say, it didn’t exactly work out as she had planned, so she immediately launched into ‘disaster cover-up mode’ and attempted to remove the melted cheese from inside the toaster, hence the tools and other objects.

Well, as you can understand that didn’t quite work either, so she resorted to her secret and most powerful weapon – “I love you dad” followed by a kiss!

Did I get angry?!? Yep, at myself for not being able to stay angry with my daughter following her cheap trick!

Regulations Gone Mad

A No Kissing sign was unveiled at Warrington Bank Quay railway station in Warrington, England, Monday in a bid to cut delays.

The sign has been placed at the drop-off point, because departing passengers and drivers block access to the station with their vehicles while saying goodbye to each other.

Virgin Rail says that if passengers want to share an embrace before they part company, they should pay to park their cars nearby where they can kiss all they want.

Definition of my sense of humour

Funny Recruitment Ad

It’s a terrible thing to make fun of the competition, but today our administrator came across an ad that had as us all in stitches. The ad is for an Executive Assistant for a Government Branch Head (Assistant Secretary). My favourite part of the ad is:

The Assistant Secretary is extremely busy and will require someone who is flexible in the role. For example, the role will require someone who is comfortable getting the Assistant Secretary's lunch, otherwise, they probably would not have anything to eat. If you would be comfortable with this then please read on.

Pepsi or Cow’s urine?

A hardline Hindu organization, known for its opposition to "corrupting" Western food imports, is planning to launch a new soft drink made from cow's urine.

The bovine beverage is currently undergoing laboratory tests but no specific release dates have been confirmed as of yet. The flavour is not yet known, but the producing organisation said the liquid produced by Hinduism's revered holy cows is being mixed with products such as aloe vera and gooseberry to fight diseases such as diabetes and cancer.

A spokesperson for the organisation stated that "cow urine offers a cure for around 70 to 80 incurable diseases like diabetes”. He further stated that they had not decided on a name or a price for the drink, and that although the drink will initially only be sold nationwide, he did not rule out international success.

Perhaps ‘Muh Juice’ will finally have a literal meaning. Will they make a diet version?

Communication Facilities Overkill

During this weekend’s multicultural festival in Canberra I ran into a guy I haven’t seen for 3 years. After a short conversation (courtesy of my restless son) we decided catch up for a beer in the near future. I entered his number on my mobile phone after which he pulled out a piece of paper which started to write something on.

When he was done he pointed to the paper and said:

“If you can’t get me on the mobile, just email me at work, and if I don’t return your email, just email me at home. I sometimes don’t check my emails so you can always try me on Facebook, or LinkedIn...actually you can try me on MySpace too if easier...”.

Have a feeling it will take awhile to get a hold of him

Swenglish, or Svengelska – det nya språket (the new language)

After having been abroad for 16+ years it is evident that my native language is starting to take a bit of a beating. Words that never existed in the Swedish language (or did they?) has emerged to form part of my daily vocabulary.

On a few occasions I’ve received some less than flattering comments regarding my ‘new’ Swedish words, which I normally brush off with a laugh as I realise my mistake. A couple of times, however, I’ve been so convinced that I was right that I actually had to look them up. So far: them, 8 – me, 1. Clearly I’m losing this battle.

So let me highlight a few of these ‘new’ words that to me seem to be perfectly good Swedish:

Limiterad - begränsad
Intrigerad – är inte helt säker vad det heter på svenska
Länkat – kopplat..ja, eller vad säger man när man har lagt en hyperlink?
Printa – skriva ut (har förstått att detta ord används mycket i sverige numera)
[Pris] kvotering – heter ju offert
Rekvira – behöver. Kommer från ‘require’
Bidda - bjuda, som pa auktion
Vankare eller Tossare – dönicke får man väl saga. Kommer från ‘wanker’ och ‘tosser’

Sorgligt nog så är dessa bara början!